The Longing by Beverly Lewis

Author:Beverly Lewis [Lewis, Beverly]
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
Tags: book
Publisher: Baker Publishing Group
Published: 2008-09-30T22:00:00+00:00

CHAPTER 18

Nellie Mae couldn’t wait to close up the shop today. She’d sent Mamma down to the house to relax while Nan made supper— fried chicken, noodles and gravy, and green beans with ham and onions. Pulling the shop door closed, she walked toward the house, drinking in the raw, damp smell of overturned soil. Farmers would be out plowing and planting soon, and that made her think of Caleb.

Inside the summer porch, she wiped her bare feet on the rag rug at the door and put a smile on her face. Then she rushed past Nan in the kitchen and made her way upstairs to her room. All day she’d had it in her mind to get Caleb’s old letters out of hiding and reread them. To help me move forward without him, she thought. Nothing more.

Yet now that she had a few moments to herself, she feared she might open up an even deeper hurt, seeing his loving words . . . the strong slant of his handwriting.

Sitting on her bed, she reached for her Bible instead and began to read Psalm 89. I will sing of the mercies of the Lord for ever: with my mouth will I make known thy faithfulness to all generations.

“O Lord,” she prayed, “I broke up with Caleb . . . for you. And once again, I give him—and our love—back to you.” Again and again, she thought, realizing it was still nearly a daily occurrence.

Heartened, she read half of the chapter, the phrases soothing her. Then, resisting the urge to ponder the past, she went to look for her mother. Seeing her parents’ door ajar, she called softly, “You busy, Mamma?”

“Come in.” Her mother held a piece of paper, the Bible in her lap.

“Didn’t mean to interrupt—”

“I’m preparing for communion council tomorrow.”

“Same way as the old church?”

Her mother nodded. “Some things are similar, jah. There’s a time of soul-searching beforehand.” She held up the page. “Come, look at what you’ll be asked to think ’bout as a member next fall . . . before the foot washing and communion service.”

She sat next to Mamma on the love seat, near the window. “I know the bishop always asked if the People were of one mind before communion Sundays.”

“Unity’s necessary for this most holy ordinance.” Mamma showed her the five written questions, and the verse printed in Preacher Manny’s own hand at the top: For as often as ye eat this bread, and drink this cup, ye do show the Lord’s death till he come.

They discussed the bread and the “wine,” which for them was grape juice, and read aloud the first question to be given prayerful consideration. “ ‘Are you willing to be at peace with God, wholly trusting in Jesus Christ and living a life without spot or blemish, by the power of the Holy Spirit?’ ”

Mamma smiled sweetly. “ ’Tis my heart’s cry.” Tears sprang to her eyes. “Oh, Nellie Mae . . . it’s the second question that hurts me so.

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